 | My parents never met my Black ex girlfriend due to the fact that they live in California and, at the time, we lived in Arizona. And I never bothered to tell them she was Black since I considered it inconsequential. It didn't matter to them anyway. The only reason they now know of her race is because I mentioned that a Black woman on TV resembled her. And at that point my Mom's only question was whether or not she was "nice" to me.
********Sabot1967
i think asian (all not just japanese) men and black women are willing to date each other, but they just have to get over some mental stuff, i think people think that since they don't see something that it can't be possible, i think it's probably especially hard for people who are 1st generation, because they have to worry about parents and usually people who are 1st generation also live in a neighborhood where everyone looks the same and is the same so even meeting someone of a different ethnicity is a challenge and dating them that seems to be like leaping across a ocean, but i'm sure that once people get used to people and get to know other people, especially in places like college (where i met my husband) those barriers will be broken.
***********LLI Sunshine
I think that once all the negative stereotypes about Asian-American men and African-American women dye down we will see a rise in AM/BF relationships. And then there is the issue with the parents. Not too many people want to go against their parent's wishes in order to date someone.
*************Tammalah
I've dated quite a few Asian guys (Aisian Americans and "FOBs"--> not my term) and it all boils down to personality and how well you and your partner handle the difference in cultures. I love it! I think it's great! I just wish there were more Asian men attracted to black women.
****************Skylla517
I have had the pleasure of having two Chinese boyfriends. And believe me, we went everywhere. And didn't give a (you know what) about what other people thought. Funny, you should have seen them in the south! lol. I love my Asian men and will continue my search for a new boyfriend.
*************BLKAZN
I'm an African-American women married to a Korean-American man. I have dated Asians men since High School. I've dated mainly Korean and Jaapnese men.
Frankly speaking many Asian men seem intimidated by Black women because we not exactly touted as the feminine ideal. But I think the main reason there aren't more couples of this type has more to do with proximity than anything else. If I go to a place where there are many Asian men, I need only stand there for a few minutes before some Asian man approaches. So there is definite interest.
Also Asian men tend to have high standards if I may say so. Asian women potential marriage partners have to bring a lot to the table for an Asian family to even consider them. And this has to be the case with Black women as well. Sure there are the "hip hop" types that just want a fling with a sistah but if you want to make it something real, you have to be bringing what they're bringing. And that means, good family background, high level of education, ladylike appearance and mannerism, facial beauty etc. Now these are not hard and fast rules but I have found that in many Asian relationhips, unlike many Western relationships, love is just a part of it. Its about moving up the social ladder, its about adequately providing for future generations. Its about Master's or no Marters, 2 parent home etc. As a woman you are judged harshly by Asian families and though some may say they don't care, you really don't want to give the family any additional ammunition besides not being Asian.
************Eban2
My boyfriend was raised by a Black man his father only and I don't need to worry about anything because he is going to protect me. Also, he take me many places in Japan and America, maybe he feels like you I don't know but he never talk bad about Black woman, but they dis him because he is with me. I feel bad for him and since I am not Black woman I have to work 10 times harder to keep good relationship. For example, I am not Japanese american, so I had to learn English and his culture, custom and I must be strong for fighting with many racism. Strange staring from many people I want to keep him happy and protect him from any kinds of uncomfortable situation. So this topic is strange because I don't scared about future because if I can be with the person I love there is nothing to be scared.
************ONNAYAMATO
Ok, Ok, I'm very glad I found this site. I am a b/m newly involved with an a/f. It's been about 6 months now. To be quite frank I'm a little scared right now. I have never been opposed to IR dating at all. In fact in the past I have always admired people who had the guts to go for what they wanted despite societies pressures to do otherwise. I never "planned" to be involved with someone other than a black female but, that's life. You can't choose who you love. Love chooses you.
With that said, I am very much in love with my girlfriend who happens to be Japanese. She is back and forth between SF and Yokosuka, while I am back and forth between NY and SF. I'm making an effort to learn her language since she already speaks mine pretty well. I know that there are cultural differences that we will need to work out because she is somewhat traditional and I am very western. I am willing to learn, bend and compromise to make things work. The thing is, her parents don't know about me yet. My gf's parents broke up when she was 15. They have remained seperate since. She currently lives with her dad. She doesn't have a good relationship with her mother at all. They are not on speaking terms for reasons that have nothing to do with us. So I don't she will attempt to interefere. Her father (who resides in Japan) on the other hand is scary. At least from what I've heard. We want to move in together soon and get engaged so I know he will have to know soon. I really would love him to at least accept it, even if he doesn't like it.
I am worried that her father will work to undermine our relationship if he finds out how serious we are. In fact we're sure he will. I don't doubt our strength I just don't want her to suffer through this. I know it will be hard. Fortunately, I have parents that are very open-minded and don't care about who I date as far ehtnicity goes.
I know this sounds crazy but I am actually scared of this old ghost who'm I have never actually met!! I am very aware of the importance of extended families in Eastern cultures. I know that in many cases the approval of family members in all of lifes major decisions is important. It's very different from the US. Well If my parents didn't like my gf then "oh well". It wouldn't change anything. I read a few other threads about asian women and how they so often date white males as opposed to black males. I must admit my situation is rare in my opinion. People do give us looks. I wonder if it's curiosity or dissapproval?? This is something new for me. I'm generally a self conscious person so learning to ignore tis is not as easy as it would be for most people. I'm coming along though. My GF obviously has none of the hang ups related to that. I honestly don't think she sees me as a "black man", but rather as a man who happens to be black. Thank God!
*********SU231  Archbishop Emmanual Milingo, 71 and his wife Maria Sung 43. Married in a mass marriage ceremony by Rev Sun Myung Moon, the couple had their marriage annulled after his Grace was threatened with excommunication from the Catholic church. |
